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All my options

When my boyfriend now fiance and i first got together almost 7 years ago, we didnt think that fertility would be a problem. We didnt know there was such a thing as PCOS. We were very young so babies were definitely not on our minds. I’m 20 years old and he’ll be 24 soon.

In society the normal thing is to grow up, get married or not and then have children when you feel like. Is that still an option for me? Will i be able to have children one day? Will i suffer miscarriages? Those are the questions floating in my mind.

What are my options?

I was diagnosed at 18 with PCOS. I think thst almost every woman with PCOS can say that they have heard these to statements from there doctor “You will have difficulty getting pregnant” or “lose 10 pounds and I’ll improve your symptoms”

I know that I have heard them.

Nearing our upcoming wedding, we started talking

Do you want to have children? If that doesnt work what’s next? IVF?
  • IVF
In vitro fertilisation is a process of fertilisation of an egg and sperm outside of the body.

His response

It's expensive but it would be worth it if it's successful.

What if IVF doesn’t work? Adoption?
  • Adoption
Legally assuming the role of a parent when the biological parents are absent.

His response

If it makes you happy, we could adopt can we'll love them like our very own.

What do you think about surrogacy, is that an option?
  • Surrogacy
A woman agreeing to carry a pregnancy for another person who would become the newborn's parent

His response

Yes, sure if it's something you want to try (he's a bit skeptical about this)​

 Most 20 year old aren’t thinking about IVF, adoption or surrogacy. Since I’ve been diagnosed with PCOS, that’s pretty much what I’ve been thinking about. Am i going to have to prepare for a childless future? What if we can’t afford these options? Am i going to be able to have children? Some people don’t realize how emotionally taxing the thought is of not being able to have children when you want to become a mother.

Honestly i dont have the answer to any of these questions. I dont know what the futrue holds me. I’ll have to trust in God and take it one day at a time. I glad to have my fiance(my husband because he’s already playing that role) by my side. He supports me, loves me and helps me through a lot of down moments. I asked him a question recently.


How do feel about our future when it comes to children/pregnancy?

His response

I can do without, if it comes to that. It wont affect how much I love and care for you. I'll be willing to try any of these option, if it makes you happy because I love you.

5 thoughts on “All my options

  1. Infertility is something that never crossed your mind until the day you decide you might want children. I remember the day I was told I couldn’t have children I was utterly heartbroken. The silver lining is that after 5 long years and a helping hand from science I have a miracle baby. Dreams can happen but don’t put any pressure on yourselves and enjoy the early years of marriage – it goes by very quickly.

  2. Clearly, you have a wonderful husband. I agree with Butterflies and Fire. Enjoy the early years with your husband. Children are indeed a blessing, but it doesn’t make you any less of a woman if you don’t have any biologically. There are options, and from the looks of it, your husband will support you in any decision. All the best to you both!

  3. You have a wonderful husband. Apparently, he is going to support any decision you make regarding having children. Your ability to have children is evidently not the reason he married you so enjoy these pre-children years with that man of yours. Whatever method works out for you, it’s clear that those children would be the lucky ones to have you as parents. I wish you both all the best.

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