After being diagnosed in 2016 with PCOS, I guess that’s when things started to go downhill. I cried almost everyday, stayed in bed all day long and was sad most days. I’ve heard people say that suicide is selfish. Coming from that place and state of depression, in my mind it seemed like the answer to all my problems. For me, I wanted peace. The sound of nothing was appealing and I wanted it bad.
Hearing people say say that “your life is great” or “you have no reason to be sad”, only makes it worse sometimes. Even hearing someone say that everything is going to be alright, triggers me. How do you know? Those statements make my mind drift into a place. A place where I’m sad and want peace. Thoughts come into my head, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS.
My thoughts were either to run away to a beautiful country, relax on the beach and be happy or maybe if i just commit suicide, I would have no worries, stress and i’ll be at peace. An ESCAPE from my life was what I was looking for. The thing is even though I had suicidal thoughts, I didn’t want to harm myself. I’m in a good place now. I’ve accepted my diagnosis and learning to live my best life. Sometimes I still get triggered, I have my bad days and I have my good days.